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理解情緒，提高情商

理解情緒，提高情商

EQ教育要趁早

日語中有一個詞叫「空気を読む」

字面翻譯就是「讀空氣」

意思是根據現場氣氛進行觀察和推測

因此也會做出合理的和諧的舉動

會讀空氣，做出讓人舒服的行為

是一種重要的能力

也是情商高的一個表現

孩子的情商要從小培養
借助閱讀的力量就是很好的方法哦

情商是什麼

現代家長，總是很關注孩子的分數是多少，知識學了多少，因為我們想孩子聰明、IQ高。但是，如果想孩子能全面發展，您一定不要忽視EQ的培養！

情商（Emotional Quotient），即情緒商數，簡稱EQ，是指人在情緒、意志、耐受挫折等方面的品質。學者丹尼爾·戈爾曼把情商概括為五個方面：認識自身情緒的能力，妥善管理情緒的能力，自我激勵的能力，認識他人情緒的能力，人際關系的管理能力。同時他也指出：「情商是決定人生成功與否的關鍵。」

情商高的孩子，會有良好的自我認知，樂於積極探索，從而建立自信心；他們有忍耐和抵抗挫折的能力，面對失敗更容易調整心態和行動；他們對情緒有良好的自我控制，不容易暴怒和生氣，即使有短暫的負面情緒也能更好地調整；他們常常擁有更強的共情能力，善解人意；他們往往更樂於與人交往，願意分享、合作，在長大後更容易獲得良好的人際關系。

有人說：「人生的高度=20%智商+80%情商。」在如今競爭激烈又日益多元的社會，在某種意義上說，情商甚至比智商更重要。智商差不多的兩個孩子，情商更高的孩子更有可能獲得人生的成功和幸福。

如何培養情商

情商是可以培養的，在孩童時期，您應該有意識地開始從各方面培養孩子的EQ，比如：讓孩子了解和說出自己的情緒和感受；學會通過語言和肢體識別他人的情緒；培養共情能力；培養孩子的情緒自我管理能力；讓孩子學會自主選擇，增強孩子的獨立性；提高孩子的責任心和自律性等等。

情緒是其中重要的一個方面。您有沒有曾被孩子忽如其來的無理取鬧嚇到？無論怎麼哄也哄不好？他感興趣的事物也無法讓他轉移注意力？

因為孩子從很小開始就會慢慢發展出豐富的情緒：嫉妒、失望、自豪、害羞、內疚、孤獨……當情感意識剛開始萌芽時，孩子的情緒波動非常大，因為他們也在體會著各種自己不認識、不理解的情感，甚至會無助和生氣。這時，您要幫助孩子打開「情緒」這個課題。

Feldman Barrett在上世紀90年代就提出了「情緒粒度（emotional granularity）」的概念，它指的是一個人區分並識別自己具體感受的能力。情緒粒度高的人，更能夠分辨並表達自己的情緒，也從而能夠更好地掌控和管理自己的情緒，和情緒做朋友。情緒粒度高的人不容易被情緒控制。

所以，提高情緒粒度，增強辨別和描述情緒的能力，是提高情商的重要一環。您可以從這些方面去做：

  • 幫助孩子學習更多情緒的詞匯：高興、難過、害怕、生氣、害羞，興奮、厭惡、猶豫、無助、興奮、平靜、心酸……
  • 引導孩子去理解情緒，耐心溝通，和孩子一起探尋每種情緒的起因；
  • 引導孩子用學會的詞匯描述情緒，表達自己的感受，引導孩子接納自己的情緒，探討如何調整負面情緒。

從閱讀中提高孩子的情商

在閱讀中體驗不同的情感，了解情感的描述和表達，感受不同角色的情緒和處境，理解當中的因果關係，是培養孩子情商的重要途徑。

在寒假和孩子一起共讀《兔寶寶奇遇》吧！這是一本讓小朋友在閱讀中了解和學習情緒的有趣漫畫。通過了解「我」和家人朋友在寒假中豐富多彩的經歷，一起體味不同角色的情感變化，引導小朋友理解別人的情緒，分析情緒的原因和變化，嘗試表達出自己的觀點。

您可以這樣進行親子交流

  1. 從不同角色的角度出發，問問孩子在某個情節的狀況下，每個角色有什麼心情？這是識別情緒的過程呢。

  2. 進一步：為什麼這個角色會有這樣的心情呢？引導孩子去理解和體察不同人的心理。
  3. 如果孩子說不出，您可以用孩子有過的實際經驗做比喻，幫助孩子理解，記得多加點耐心噢。

幼兒階段

這個時期孩子的自我意識強烈，先從故事中孩子們的角度提問吧。

比如問：

  • 孩子們在學校討論起放假去農村祖父祖母家玩，回家還要打電話給祖父母，
    1. 大家這時的心情是怎麼樣的？
    2. 「我」為什麼把小貓也拋起來啦？
    3. 如果您的孩子還沒有掌握足夠多詞匯，可以說一些詞讓他選擇：興奮？快樂？開心？
  • 下雪了，
    1. 孩子們的心情是怎樣的？
    2. 可以一起堆雪人，在雪地玩，小朋友的感受是怎樣的呀？
    3. 如果您在溫暖的地區，孩子還沒見過真正的雪，可以讓他/她想象自己第一次看見雪時的心情呢！
  • 孩子們說「我們不要和兔寶寶分開」，但又要找它的家人送它回家，
    1. 為什麼要這樣做？
    2. 這時大家是什麼心情？
    3. 您可以舉一些孩子生活中兩難的真實小例子讓小朋友更好理解這種矛盾心情哦。

孩子年齡稍大

如果您的孩子年齡稍大，可以進一步讓他們想象大人的心情、甚至小動物的心情。比如問：

  • 姑媽為什麼要送書給孩子們呢？

  • 下雪了，小明媽媽為什麼要叫大家穿上大衣才出去玩呢？

  • 過完年後，大人們又去上班的心情是怎樣的？和大家開學上學的心情一樣嗎？

  • 一直都在家中生活的小貓小狗被帶到空間廣闊的農村會有什麼樣的心情呀？它們會有什麼表現？小貓小狗和兔寶寶玩得開心嗎？

如果小朋友的回答和您想象中不太一樣，沒關係，請不要糾正他們，因為不存在“正確”的答案。小朋友的心智成熟度、認知心理發展階段不一樣，性格和喜好不一樣，回答也都會不一樣。

其實，這個過程既是一種簡單的情商啟蒙練習，引導孩子站在他人角度去換位思考，提高共情能力和同情心；同時，這也是您了解孩子的好機會，孩子說的感受，往往都是自己內心的真實想法，而且孩子們常常能說出讓我們驚喜、出乎意料的答案呢！

通過這樣的交流
既有趣又能讓孩子學會識別和感受情緒
理解他人，從而提高情感粒度
對孩子未來發展很重要的情商
就是這樣一點一滴地培養起來的呢
情緒學習 「歡樂棋」Emotions Management Course︱兒童學習中文教材︱思展圖書

歡迎參加為期24天的親子情緒管理網上課程，透過遊戲及筆記，提升孩子的EQ，同時增進語文能力。

《歡樂棋》情緒管理課程 Fun & Joy Emotions Management course
瀏覽思展出版 Browse Sagebooks' Publications

EQ Development for Children: Starting Early is Key

As parents, we often focus on our children’s academic achievements and cognitive abilities, but we should not overlook the importance of emotional intelligence or EQ development. EQ, or Emotional Quotient, is a measure of a person’s emotional intelligence and refers to their ability to recognize and manage their own emotions, understand the emotions of others, and build positive relationships.

Daniel Goleman, an expert in emotional intelligence, identifies five key aspects of EQ:

  • Self-awareness
  • Self-regulation
  • Motivation
  • Empathy
  • Social skills.

Why EQ Development is Important in 3-5 Year Olds

EQ development in children is especially important as it sets a foundation for future success and well-being. Children with high EQ are more self-awared, have better emotional control and empathy, and can maintain better interpersonal relationships. These all lead to more fulfilling lives.

  • Enhanced Self-Awareness: 3-5 year-olds are at an age where they are developing a sense of self. By teaching them about emotions, they can start to understand how their feelings impact their behavior and learn to communicate their emotions more effectively.
  • Improved Social Skills: EQ development in young children promotes positive social skills such as empathy, kindness, and compassion. They help children understand the emotions of others and respond appropriately. These skills are essential in building and maintaining positive relationships with family members, peers, and teachers.
  • Better Academic Performance: Studies have shown that children with high EQ perform better academically than those with low EQ. This is because EQ helps children regulate their emotions, focus better, and solve problems more effectively.
  • Reduced Behavioural Problems: Young children often struggle with managing their emotions, leading to tantrums and meltdowns. By developing EQ, they can learn to regulate their emotions and communicate their needs in a more effective way. They are less likely to exhibit behavioral problems such as aggression, defiance, and hyperactivity.
  • Better Mental Health: This includes increased self-esteem, reduced anxiety, and improved coping mechanisms. It helps children manage stress and develop resilience.
  • Better Decision-Making: Children with higher EQ are better able to make decisions, solve problems, and think creatively. EQ development in early childhood can help set the stage for better decision-making skills later in life.

According to psychologist Lisa Feldman Barrett,

Emotions are not reactions to the world; they are your constructions of the world. You construct them based on your experiences, your sensory input, and your social and cultural conditioning.

This highlights the importance of EQ development in young children as it teaches them how to construct their emotions in a healthy and productive way.

How Children Can Learn Emotional Management through Reading and Discussions

Reading is a powerful tool for teaching children about emotions and how to manage them effectively. Books provide a safe space for children to explore their emotions and learn healthy ways to cope with them. Parents can use books to start discussions with their children about emotions and feelings.

After reading a book with your child, you can start a discussion about the emotions in the story. For example, you could ask your child how the character felt and why, and then ask them if they have ever felt that way. You could also ask them how they would handle the situation if they were in the character’s shoes.

Below, we will use the story Bunny’s Adventure to illustrate how you can engage your child in discussions after reading to help them develop EQ. Bunny’s Adventure is a comic story catered to Basic Chinese 500 graduates.

Points to engage your child in discussions

  1. First, Explore how the characters felt at specific situations in the story. This is a good way to learn to identify emotions.

  2. Next, explore WHY the characters would feel that way? This helps your child develop empathy.
  3. If your child finds it difficult to identify the emotions, it’s OK. Try to recall some similar experience that your child have had to help them relate. Always be patient with them.

For very young children

Children at this age are very self-centred. Let’s discuss how the children in the story felt.

For example:

  • The children talked about spending the holiday at their grandparents’ house. They wanted to call their grandparents after school.
    1. How did they each feel when they were discussing that in school?
    2. Why did I tossed the cat in the air?
    3. If your child does not know the right words to describe people’s emotions, help them by providing some words for them to choose, such as happy, excited, glad.
  • It snowed.
    1. How did the children feel?
    2. How did the children feel when they were building the snowman?
    3. If you live in a warm country and your child has never seen real snow, ask them to imagine how they would feel when they saw snow for the first time in their life.
  • In the story, the children say “We don’t want to part with the bunny“, but they did everything to look for the bunny’s family so they could send it back home.
    1. Why did they do that?
    2. How did they feel?
    3. You could also provide some real-life examples to help your child understand this kind dilemma.

For older children

For older children, ask them to imagine how the adults or the animals in the story felt. For example:

  • Why did the aunt gave books to the children?

  • When it snowed, why did Xiao Ming’s mother ask him to put on a coat before going out?

  • After the Chinese New Year holidays, the grownups went back to work. How did they feel? Would that be similar to how children feel when they return to school?

  • How did the kitten and the dog feel being in the country side where they have more room to roam about? How would they behave? Did the dog and the kitten enjoy playing with the bunny?

Do not correct your child if they give you a different answer. There is no modal answer in life. Their responses would change as they grow.  How they think and feel are also affected by their own personalities.

As they begin to explore emotions and develop EQ, they are learning to appreciate how other people are different from themselves. They are developing empathy. It would be an opportunity for you to get to know your child’s inner world. Be prepared to be surprised.

情緒學習 「歡樂棋」Emotions Management Course︱兒童學習中文教材︱思展圖書

To boost you and your child’s EQ and learn emotional management skills, we invite you to join our  24-day, fun packed, hands-on, online course.

《歡樂棋》情緒管理課程 Fun & Joy Emotions Management course

Related Books

Learn Chinese for beginners Sage Formula Basic Chinese 500
Basic Chinese 500 基礎漢字500
Treasure Box 寶貝盒
中文學習工具︱兒童學習中文教材︱思展圖書 03
Study Cards 閱讀練習卡
【遊戲認讀卡 Game Cards】 簡介｜漢字認讀和遊戲｜思展圖書
Game Cards 遊戲認讀卡
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Bunny's Adventures 兔寶寶奇遇

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